We typically view stereotypes in a negative light but more often than we realise, stereotypes are what bring us comfort. Stereotypes can be grounds for false judgement and negative misconceptions, but they can also arouse feelings of belonging.
As with most things in life, the unfortunate truth is that humans don’t struggle to identify a bad thing. But we are quick to turn a blind eye if that bad thing works out in our favour. But when things aren’t to our advantage, we are always quick to find blame and excuses.
Being uncomfortable is a part of change
When times got tough and confusion set in, I blamed stereotypes. I found myself questioning my life at that point because I didn’t fit the standard. Despite ticking all of the necessary boxes, my inability to fulfil a certain stereotype made me feel out of place. This is another reason Representation Matters.
Without beating around the bush, I’ll put my situation in simple terms for you. At times, I felt like the ‘token black girl’. This wasn’t the case. I got the grades I needed, I went through the same set of interviews and smashed the same assessment centre as everyone else! I was just the only one that looked like this and so my Imposter Syndrome started to seep through and cause me to question how much I deserved what I had.
Often, insecurities and self-doubt are rooted in the stereotypes manipulated by other people. When we allow such negative thoughts to hold a significant place in our lives, we are at risk of blocking the blessings God has laid out before us.
God has a plan
I’ve learnt to recognise when I’m in a place that God has put me in. When God has placed you somewhere He’ll let you know. Problem is, in these cases I often feel as though I don’t belong. Here’s why:
When I have worked hard and persevered to achieve something, it is likely that I desired to be there. No-one has a desire to be in a place where they feel they won’t fit in- your subconscious has already taken a full assessment of the standards and stereotypes and decided that you’re a good fit. Therefore, you’re free to pursue whatever it may be, with the confidence that once you reach the end goal; you’ll be in a place where you belong.
However, when God plants me somewhere, the chance to validate such is gone and so I feel out of place. But does this mean that I don’t belong?
The simple answer is no. You may have heard the saying “When God wants you to grow, He makes you uncomfortable”
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23
Seasons will test you
Where He may have placed you at this point in time, in which you feel you don’t belong, may not be the final destination. I can guarantee that there are lessons laid out for you to learn during this season. Being a follower of Christ and taking up a daily cross means that things will be difficult. Try to remember this during trials and tribulations.
I’m not suggesting that you will never feel comfortable in the places God has led you to. But I want you to remember that when God’s favour is upon you and He guides you somewhere, being obedient to His plans for you will eventually lead you to peace, joy and fulfilment.
Don’t let stereotypes mislead you or throw you off track.
Grow in the comfort of being uncomfortable.
Accept that if God has placed you there, you most certainly do belong!
All the best,
Tisha x
#Schmile
This is a good post to uplift my spirit right now. Thanks for sharing.
Happy to hear this! Thank you for your support! 🙂
Well, life required me to move to the other side of the world and lost the life that I had built for 16 yrs. I still don’t understand God’s plan with uprooting my life and planting me back here. It is definitely uncomfortable. My faith took a major beating for a while. But, like you said, there is a purpose for each trial and He has a plan to prosper us, not harm us.
So glad you know that there is a reason behind this change -God never leaves us! Thank you for reading x
You’re so right about certain seasons testing you! I went through a season like that last year and although it left me stronger it definitely was tiring.
I can’t wait for the strength part lol- thanks for reading! x
You’re absolutely right about when God wants you to grow, he makes you uncomfortable. You can’t grow in an environment that’s not conducive to your growth.
Thank you so much for reading💙
Man you nailed this!!!
I used to struggle with this point as well about being comfortable with being uncomfortable…growth does not happen in our comfort zones so while yes it is painful now, you will be better because of the trial/tribulation. Let God work in and through you…and I promise the end result will be more than you could have ever imagined…again I really enjoyed this piece! Keep letting the Lord use you!
Thank you so much for your feedback!!! I really appreciate this! God bless💙💙💙
Great read. Often. navigating predominantly non-Black spaces as a Black woman will leave us tired, on edge, and insecure due to systemic racism and racial microaggressions. It’s something we feel like we can’t escape and have to be looking over our shoulders constantly. This was great advice given at the end.
Kendro
Thank you so much for reading! Glad you can relate and happy it was helpful!💙
WOW VEry motivating and uplifting!! God’s plans are always better than our own! Thank you for Sharing!!
Thank you for reading! Glad you enjoyed it 😊
What an awesome post.. You are certainly right in every way. Glad I came across this.
Pleased to hear this! Thanks for reading 😊
Thats really a nice article 😍
Oh it is so true about seasons testing you! I had a very hard time in my personal life with certain relationships last year and although it was painful, it has left me stronger. I know there’s a plan and we often look back in hindsight and realise it.
So glad to hear that you’re stronger!!! Thank you for reading- I appreciate your comment💙
Great perspective. Change definetly requires us to be uncomfortable. If you don’t fail first then you weren’t reaching high enough in the first place. Great blog!
“If you don’t fail first then you weren’t reaching high enough” love this! Thank you for reading💙
Thank you for expressing the syndrome associated with feeling like the token black girl. It was insightful knowing what to finally coin it. Seasons are given for strength. Keep striving. Great read.
Happy it was useful! Thank you! 🙂
This is so true. I was going though a time where I wanted to leave so bad and didn’t because I knew it wasn’t the right time. It definitely confirms the word in church today. Sometimes when you go out of the Will of God or even go when you’re not ready, you can put yourself in a lot more trouble or jeopardize other’s life in the process. ie Jonah on his way to Tarshish
This is the perfect example! What God has sent us to do many not always sit well with us but there is a purpose much greater than what we can imagine! Thank you for sharing! :)x
I deal with feeling that I don’t belong at times so thank you for this. I use and affirmation when I’m in this mindset: “I never enter a room that I don’t belong.” This affirms my worthiness.
I love this idea and will definitely be trying it! Thank you for sharing!💙
This is so important. Thanks for sharing
I loved what you said about if God wants to.elevate He makes you uncomfortable. This is such an encouragement.
So glad it encouraged you! Thank you for reading 💙
I truly enjoyed this post. Needed this today!
So happy to hear this! Thank you for reading 💙
Good morning Tisha. I thought you were talking to me. Felt the scenario in my life. I’m feeling uncomfortable with the steps it looks like I have to take. But I’m being guided in a direction I did not expect. But I feel like this direction is my blessing.
A blessing in disguise! I’ve been there- trust me you’ll come out stronger! Wishing you all the best! Thank you for reading- I hope it was helpful! 🙂 x
This was a good post and exactly what I needed today! I have this same struggle being the youngest and only black AGM in my company but I am striving and shining for everything I have worked for. Great post!
Thank you so much- glad you could relate! Keep shining!!!
This post speaks to my heart. very uplifting. God definitely has a plan for us and we only need to chose to let His will be done in our lives.
Obedience is difficult but so necessary! Thank you so much for reading! 🙂 x
I am the walking, talking version of the anti stereotype. Ninety percent of my interests and demeanor typically come off as a surprise and it’s frustrating but also fun. I see how stereotypes are comfortable but I tend to do things to get out of my comfort zone often as possible.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is probably one of the best ways to learn and grown! Thanks for reading x
I loved this post. Even in the mist of a stormy season I can still find peace in knowing that I’m still protected by God. 💜
Always!!! Thank you for reading- so glad you loved it!!!💙
Very inspiring words! Great read! Always keep going through the dark times!
Thank you!💙
I love what you said about God making us uncomfortable when God wants us to grow. I am sorry you have felt like you didn’t belong though. I am glad you realize you did belong and that you were where God wanted you to be.
Thank you so much for your support! I hope you enjoyed reading 🙂 x
What an impactful, insightful story. Women of color are in a world where we are always fighting to find our place.
We’ll get there eventually! Thank you for reading! 🙂 x
This was so well written! I can totally relate to these feelings as we have decided to raise our kids in a suburb where they are the minority by far.
Thank you so much! Wishing you the best for your kids! They’ll be stronger for it!💙
This was a nice read. I am an atheist but I believe in your faith.
Appreciate that! Thanks for reading 💙
Ahhhh I love this so much! Thanks for sharing your heart, you’re def not the only one nor are you the only one that has felt like the “token black girl”. It’s beautiful to see the lessons you’ve learned and the growth that you are experiencing as a result.
So glad you could relate! Thank you so much for sharing!💙
Wow I have really been needing this. God is so good.
All the time!!! 🙌🏽Thanks for reading💙